Where's the Joy? (and the sleep!)

I couldn't sleep last night. My mind simply wouldn't shut off.

My daughter was pregnant. Now she's not. Today she goes in for a D&C. This is her third miscarriage in the last year. She says she'll get an IUD now, because "The pill doesn't work and" well, I won't go into the TMI that completed that statement. Sigh. Another grandchild lost.

I was desperate yesterday. I had no idea how I was/am going to get Mr. D's medications. They're prohibitively expensive. I have no job, no insurance. My ex...the bio dad...has not provided health coverage for almost two years now.

I swallowed my pride and went to the DS*HS office and begged mercy. I walked out of there 3 hours later with two letters of approval...medical for Mr. D, and for me. I even left with "$" for food. I happened to talk to the right person when I got there.

I haven't had to "use the system" for ten years. I have been financially independent, provided myself and my son with health insurance. Now, my health has deteriorated to the point where I left my job. Of course, I was in the same horrible job for the last ten years, and that has most likely contributed to a huge amount of my health issues.

Where's the Joy? Maybe with some time off I can find it again.