In which I blog about not so joyful things

I had a plan for this blog:

• It would be updated regularly
• It would stay positive, upbeat, Joyful!
• I would make it "pretty"...or find someone to help me

So far so good. I think. I wonder though, what I will get out of it if I literally only blog about the good, joyful, upbeat, blah blah blah. I don't always have that stuff to write about.

Well then. I need this blog to remain above all things, for myself, honest.

On that note, I have been struggling lately. Fighting anxiety and panic attacks and generally falling apart while trying to keep it all together. And you know what? I'm tired. So, so tired

As I type, Bella (my chaweeny puppy) is sitting in my lap. I can hear my husband pounding on something in the driveway. And the "Sound of Silence" is softly playing on my i*pod. Silence can be a wonderful thing. Something I don't get much of.

It's almost 7pm, I have NO idea what I'm going to feed the hungry guys that will soon be asking me what I have planned for dinner. The floors all need to be swept. There's something scary-hairy growing in the back of the refrigerator that will require a gas mask for removal. Carpets need to be vacuumed. I have nothing to wear for work tomorrow. Mr. D dumped a pile of laundry on the couch and headed out the door to Wards Lake. "See ya mom! I'll be back in time for dinner". My mother will be here on Friday...and oh boy, I still need to feed people tonight, and go shopping for school clothes (I'll be stealing from Peter to pay Paul on this one).

Did I mention being tired. Yup, think I did.